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Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! Sex-dating? It’s a freakin’ mess, ok? Like, I’m talkin’ bout those apps—swipe, bang, gone. It’s all “plant a seed” in some chick’s head, like *Inception*, ya know? I’m the dream master, bitches! Plantin’ ideas, gettin’ laid, boom! But seriouslah, it pisses me off—half these losers can’t even talk. They’re all, “u up?” at 2 a.m. Lameasses!
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