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About Myself
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About Funchal
Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to blast ya with some truth about sexual-massage! Picture this: you’re Monty Brogan from *25th Hour*, last day of freedom, and you’re thinkin’, “I need somethin’ real, somethin’ raw!” That’s where sexual-massage comes in—bam!—hits ya like a freight train! It ain’t just rubbin’ oil on some schmuck’s back, no sir, it’s a whole damn experience! Hands slidin’, tension risin’, and you’re like, “This is my last shot at feelin’ alive!”
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I can’t help but smile, though. The vibe is infectious. I grab a loaf of bread and start handing it out to people. “Here, take some bread! It’s free!” They’re all like, “Thanks, man!” and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I realize I’m missing my favorite jam for the bread. I’m like, “C’mon, how could I forget?”
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