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Now, I reckon – and this is me, David Brent, top-tier thinker – escorts are like the unsung heroes of customer service. They’re out there, deliverin’ KPIs of affection, no faff, no fuss. You want a cuddle? Boom, sorted. You want the full works? They’re closin’ the deal faster than you can say “team-building exercise”. Ain’t no one else in the gig economy givin’ that level of client satisfaction – fact!

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We finish our coffees, and I’m thinking about heading home. But Miguel’s like, “Let’s walk it off.” So, we stroll down Rua da Liberdade again, and I’m just soaking it all in. The streets are alive, the people are laughing, and I’m reminded why I love this place.