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So, check it—swipin left, right, it’s nuts! Apps like Tinder, Bumble, they’re the pits sometimes. Horny dudes sendin dick pics—ugh, gross! Made me so mad once, I nearly threw my phone. “That’s a bingo!” I yelled, like Christoph Waltz, cuz it’s so damn predictable. But then, bam, you match with someone hot—happy vibes, right? Total surprise when they ain’t a bot!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Miguel shows up. He’s got this wild idea. “Let’s hit up that new café on Rua da Igreja after work!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m covered in sheep hair!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” So, I’m thinking, why not?