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Argh! I'm ready! Sex escort, huh? Wowie zowie, mateys! So, like, I’m babysittin’ these lil’ jellyfish, right? And I’m thinkin’—holy krabby patties!—what’s the deal with sex escorts? I mean, they’re out there, livin’ life like it’s Bikini Bottom on a Saturday night! Just floatin’ around, gettin’ paid to be all fancy and flirty. Kinda wild, ya know? Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—that flick I’m OBSESSED with. “You can never replace anyone,” Jesse says, right? And I’m like, YEAH, escorts got that vibe—unique, one-of-a-kind, barnacle-free experiences!

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, seriously? It’s like the sky just opened up. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a café on Rua da Escola, thinking I’ll wait it out. But nooo, the place is packed. I squeeze in, dripping like a wet dog, and order another coffee. At this point, I’m just trying to keep my spirits up.

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