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About Funchal

Alright, so sex-dating, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ maze out there—like, what’s the deal with these apps? Swipe left, swipe right, it’s like I’m auditioning for some horny circus! I mean, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “This is pretty, pretty good,” but then—bam!—you match with someone, and it’s all “Ofelia, don’t eat the grapes!” from *Pan’s Labyrinth*. Y’know, temptation everywhere, but half the time it’s a trap! Sex-dating’s wild, man, it’s like steppin’ into that creepy pale man’s lair—ya never know who’s real or who’s just starin’ at ya with no eyes.

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But then, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I almost faceplant. I’m laughing at myself, but then I see this old lady staring at me like I’m a total clown. I just smile and wave. She rolls her eyes. Whatever, lady.

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