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Oi mate, right, sexual-massage, yeah? It’s bloody brilliant innit, pure vibes, gets the old juices flowin—like, proper *Joy* from “Inside Out” territory, yeah? I’m sat here, thinkin, this ain’t just rubbin backs, it’s next-level team-buildin, corporate synergy bollocks—but sexy! Picture it, yeah, some geezer in a dimly lit room, oils everywhere, hands slidin about—ooh, bit of *Anger* kickin in, cos why wasn’t I invited, eh? Proper fumin.

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Then, I decided to hit the beach. Praia da Costa da Caparica, baby! The waves were calling my name. I plopped down on the sand, ready to soak up some rays. But guess what? A kid runs by, kicks sand all over me! I was like, “Really? Is this a sandstorm or what?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

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