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So, sex-dating—hookin’ up quick, no strings, right? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—swipe, bang, done. I reckon it’s liberatin’, makes me happy as a pig in mud. No more awkward “courtin’” crap—straight to the good stuff. But it pisses me off too, y’know? Folks lyin’ ‘bout their height, their pics from 10 years ago—strategery, my ass! Fool me once with a catfish, I’m done.

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I took a deep breath, tried to zen out. You know, the whole “I’m a psychologist, I can handle this” vibe. But then, I saw this group of surfers. They were shredding it! I mean, I was impressed. I thought, “Maybe I should take up surfing?” But then I remembered my last attempt. Spoiler: I face-planted hard.

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