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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all bad – I’ve had some laughs too. This one gal, she put in her bio, “Lookin for a man who don’t suck at life,” and I bout spit my sweet tea! Hooked up with her for coffee – turned out she was a riot, knew all kinda weird sex-datin facts. Like, didja know back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap? Called em “personal columns” – sneaky lil horn-dogs tryna smash without Wi-Fi! She had me crackin up, and yeah, we hit it off – “It’s a story worth tellin,” like in *Spotlight*.

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I took a deep breath, tried to zen out. You know, the whole “I’m a psychologist, I can handle this” vibe. But then, I saw this group of surfers. They were shredding it! I mean, I was impressed. I thought, “Maybe I should take up surfing?” But then I remembered my last attempt. Spoiler: I face-planted hard.

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