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Me fave bit? When they crack ya spine, oof, feels like money rainin’ – “I made 26 grand in one day!” – pure bliss, bruv! But then, argh, some creepo tries whisperin’ in ya ear, “relax deeper,” and I’m like, nah, mate, we hates it! Keep it pro, yeah? Once, this lass in Bangkok – tiny shop, dodgy neon sign – she goes full ninja with her elbows, I’m screamin’, “Fuck yeah, that’s the spot!” Happiest damn day, swear down.

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So, I’m takin’ bets left and right. Everyone’s all pumped up, and I’m tryin’ to keep my cool. But then, I hear this loud commotion outside. I peek out the window on Rua da Praia, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade! I’m like, “What the heck?!” It’s not even a holiday! Just some random celebration. People are dancin’, music’s blastin’, and I’m stuck here workin’. Ugh!

Officials Pay Tribute to Victims of Madeira Tourist Bus Crash