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Sarcasm time: oh, Escort, you sexy beast—more dents than a golf ball, but I’d marry ya! Seriously, it’s my fave—beats a Prius any day. Quirky thought: wonder if Malick’d make a movie bout it—slow pans of rust, deep voiceover, “What is a car but time?”—I’d watch that! Anyway, Escort’s my buddy—ugly, loud, perfect. That’s what she said! Love ya, ya rusty turd!

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Then, I met up with my buddy Miguel at a café on Rua do Comércio. He’s always late, like, come on, man! I ordered a pastel de nata while waiting. Best decision ever! But when Miguel finally showed up, he was like, “Did you eat my share?” I just rolled my eyes.

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