Lina Campo Maior Sexual Massage ❤️❤️

About Funchal

Here’s a kicker—Victorians, prudes, right? Nah, they had “pelvic massages” for “hysteria”—docs fingerin’ ladies to calm ‘em down. Hilarious, fuckin’ wild, and true! Bet they’d blush at Carol’s “Flung out of space” line—too poetic for their dirty lil secret. Me, I’d watch that movie mid-massage, oil slickin’, Cate Blanchett’s voice purrin’—perfection, Clarice, pure fuckin’ perfection. What surprised me? How some masseuses sneak a wink—unspoken deal, “Want more?” Naw, I’m good, just keep it legit, ya perv.

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So, I finally get to the market at Praça da República. It’s packed! I mean, like sardines in a can. I’m trying to sell my pork, but everyone’s too busy haggling over tomatoes. Seriously, who even cares about tomatoes? I’m standing there, waving my arms like a madman, “Fresh pork! Best in town!” But nope, they’re all about those overpriced veggies. I’m fuming inside. Like, c’mon people, I’m right here!

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