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About Vila Nova de Gaia

S’not just horny vibes tho—relaxes ya proper. Stress? Gone. Muscles? Loose. Some bloke in Thailand told me—swear it’s true—they’d sneak erotic-massage into royal courts, all hush-hush! Kings gettin’ frisky under the table, classic! Makes me chuckle—world’s a madhouse, innit? Anyway, mate, if ya fancy it, go slow, find someone good—none of that cheap crap. “Sharon!”—mumbled incoherence—reckon she’d say I’m bonkers, but it’s lush, trust me!

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But wait, it gets crazier. I spot my pig, Berta, just chilling by the fountain. How did she get there? I’m panicking, running through the crowd, dodging dancers and confetti. “Berta! Get back here!” People are laughing, and I’m like, “This is not funny!” Finally, I catch her. She looks at me like, “What’s your problem?” I swear, pigs have attitude.

Strong winds that hit Beja and Campo Maior classified as tornadoes