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Heard a story bout her, tho—proper wild. Some punter says she’s got a kid stashed away, sends cash every month. Nobody knows where, secret like them tapes in “Caché”. True or not, blows me mind! A prostitute with a heart? We likes that, yeh, surprises us, warms us up a bit. But then—bam!—she’s back to hagglin’ prices, all “Fifty quid, love, no less!” and I’m like, ugh, we hates it! Flip-floppin’ like that, drives me bonkers.

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But then, the mood shifts again. This old man walks in, looking all confused. He’s trying to find the bread aisle, but he’s in the frozen food section. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the wrong place!” But he just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

Residents protest at Lisbon Airport