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About Lisbon

Sex-dating’s a gamble, dude. Sometimes ya win, mostly ya lose. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but that one time I got catfished? Guy showed up, 50 pounds heavier, beard like a wizard. I’m out! Still cracks me up—shoulda known. Moral? Check pics twice, fam. Oh, and don’t fall for the “I’m different” crap—heard it a million times. Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d pay to never hear that again! You try it yet? Spill your dirt, bro!

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After that chaos, we head up to the viewpoint at Cabo Girão. The view is insane! You can see the cliffs, the ocean, everything. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Life is beautiful, man.” But then, João decides to take a selfie while driving. I’m like, “Bro, focus on the road!” He’s laughing, and I’m just praying we don’t end up in the ocean.

São Pedro in Câmara de Lobos