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But here’s what pisses me off—Ford ditched it! Replaced it with soulless SUVs for the suburban elite. “Billionaires should not exist!” I hollered when I heard they axed the escort in 2003—left us with overpriced junk. Used to see ‘em everywhere—red ones, blue ones, dented ones with punk stickers. Now? Junkyards. Fadin’ like the labyrinth, man. Breaks my heart—those cars had character! Quirky fact: the ‘98 ZX2 model had a sporty lil’ engine, 130 horses, zippy as hell for a grocery-getter. Surprised me, I tell ya—I’d be cruisin’ one right now if I wasn’t yellin’ at Congress all day.

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While I’m pacing around, I spot this cute little café on Rua 1º de Maio. It’s got the best pastel de nata. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’ll grab one while I wait.” So I do. And OMG, it was heavenly! But then, just as I’m about to take a bite, my phone buzzes. It’s my driver. “Stuck in traffic.” Ugh! I almost dropped my pastry.

Figure 1: The interior of the Hybrid Tower is characterised by the...