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Favorite part? The thrill, baby! Like when Jessica Chastain’s yellin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—that’s you, scorin’ a date after 50 swipes. Feels big, epic! But—ugh—sometimes it’s a bust. Catfish city! Met this chick once—profile said “athletic,” showed up lookin’ like she wrestled donuts. Surprised me, sure, but I rolled with it. “You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole”—that’s me, judgin’ too quick.

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While I’m pacing around, I spot this cute little café on Rua 1º de Maio. It’s got the best pastel de nata. I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’ll grab one while I wait.” So I do. And OMG, it was heavenly! But then, just as I’m about to take a bite, my phone buzzes. It’s my driver. “Stuck in traffic.” Ugh! I almost dropped my pastry.

Figure 1: The interior of the Hybrid Tower is characterised by the...