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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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Then, I hit up the café on Rua da Paz. Needed my coffee fix, right? But the barista? Ugh. She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s cute, so I let it slide. Kinda.

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