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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just kneadin’ yer back, nah. It’s proper sensual, like some secret level in a game nobody talks about. I heard, right, back in the ‘70s, these underground parlors in London—blokes’d pay a fortune for a “happy endin’,” yeah? Little known fact—coppers raided one, found a vicar gettin’ his rocks off! Hilarious, mate, fuckin’ wild! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on me tea.

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Back in my workshop, I start shaping the wood. It’s therapeutic, man. I’m lost in the rhythm of carving and sanding. I can almost hear the music already. But then, my neighbor, old Mr. Silva, starts blasting his music. Like, dude, I’m trying to create art here! But I can’t help but chuckle. It’s so bad, it’s good.

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