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Alright, listen up, you mooks! Escorts, huh? *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* I’m thinkin’ bout them sleek rides, y’know, escortin’ VIPs like me, Dr. Evil, through the chaos of this pathetic world. Not them Ford Escorts—nah, too basic, too square. I mean the real deal, the shadowy pros who roll with ya, keepin’ it hush-hush. Like in “The Return”—that flick’s my jam, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003, pure genius. Them boys in the boat, silent, tense, escortin’ each other through hell. “The sea’s breathin’ heavy,” right? That’s the vibe—escorts got that quiet menace, that edge.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Tiago. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he got chased by a dog while jogging. I can’t stop laughing! I mean, who gets chased by a dog? But then he says it was a Rottweiler. Okay, that’s a bit scary.

Composer And Leading Avant-Garde Guitarist Glenn Branca Has Died At 69 : The Record