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Yo, check it, I’m Apollo Creed—*“I must break you!”*—and I’m here spillin’ the tea on sex-dating, alright? This whole gig, man, it’s wild—like somethin’ outta *The Dark Knight*. You got folks swipin’ left and right, chasin’ that quick hookup vibe, thinkin’ they’re the Joker runnin’ the show. “Why so serious?” I’m laughin’ my ass off watchin’ these clowns tryna flex for a one-night stand. Sex-dating’s a freakin’ battlefield, fam—half these profiles out here fakin’ it, catfishin’ like pros, and I’m over here like, *“I must break you!”*—bust through the BS, ya feel me?

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After that, I head over to Rua de São João. I’m feelin’ good, ready to show off my skills. But then, I see this massive crowd gatherin’. I’m thinkin’, “What’s goin’ on?” Turns out, it’s a street performer doin’ some crazy acrobatics. I mean, this guy’s flippin’ and twistin’ like he’s on fire! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, thinkin’, “I can barely do a cartwheel!”

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