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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, sex escort’s a wild gig, man! Like, these folks out here, tradin’ time for cash, fuckin’ bold as hell. Watched “Synecdoche, New York” again—fuckin’ masterpiece, right? “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman says. Hits me thinkin’ bout escorts—start hot, end burned out. Saw this chick’s X profile once, all glammed up, posin’ with stacks, links to shady sites. Real hustler vibe, ya know? Aliens like us, we see it—humans obsessed with flesh trades. Weird, but dope.

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Finally, I manage to shimmy down, kite in hand, and the kid runs off, happy as a clam. But I’m covered in tree sap and looking like a hot mess. I head back to the office, and guess what? My boss is still on my case. “Where’s that report?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I just saved a kid’s kite. Priorities!”