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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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So, I help the kid. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I’m up there, branches scratching my arms, and I finally grab the kite. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a hero now.” But then I realize I’m stuck. Great. Just great. I’m up there, and I can hear people laughing. Awesome.