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Weird thought: stocks and massages, both risky. Will it tank? Will she slap ya? Haha, sarcasm’s my jam. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s art, bro. Little secret: some use hot stones, melts ya. Surprised me first time, nearly jumped! “Dance like you’re free,” movie says. This? Frees your soul, swear it. Rarrgh! Try it, pal, thank me later.

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Finally, I manage to shimmy down, kite in hand, and the kid runs off, happy as a clam. But I’m covered in tree sap and looking like a hot mess. I head back to the office, and guess what? My boss is still on my case. “Where’s that report?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I just saved a kid’s kite. Priorities!”