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About Funchal

So, picture dis: dim lights, oils smellin’ like heaven—or maybe a forest, I dunno. Hands slidin’ over ya, real slow, teasin’. I was like, “Doc, dis legal?” Ha! Made me giggle, thinkin’ I’d get busted chompin’ a carrot mid-massage. But nah, it’s legit—well, mostly. Little known fact, tho: way back, ancient Greeks were all over dis! Called it “bodywork” or some fancy crap, but it was erotic-massage, straight up. Bet they didn’t tell ya dat in school, huh?

We offer a wide range of erotic and sensual massages

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So, I help the kid. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I’m up there, branches scratching my arms, and I finally grab the kite. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a hero now.” But then I realize I’m stuck. Great. Just great. I’m up there, and I can hear people laughing. Awesome.