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About Porto

Oi mate, right, so I’m a biochemist, yeah? Proper brainbox, me. Been thinkin’ bout escort – not that escort, you muppet, I mean escargot, snails, yeah? Slippery little buggers! So, check this, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *Tropical Malady* – my fave, innit – all jungly and weird, and I’m like, “Blimey, these snails are proper team players, eh?” Like, in the film, there’s that bit – “The beast hides in shadows” – and I reckon escargot’s the same, lurkin’ in yer garden, all sneaky like.

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But then, just as I’m about to lose it, the sun pops out. I swear, it’s like the universe was playin’ games with me. I’m soaked, but I’m laughing. I mean, who doesn’t love a good plot twist? So, I dry off and get back to it. I’m shouting about the latest deals, trying to get people hyped.

Botica to depart FMA