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About Almada

Best flick, 12 Years, taught me—freedom’s a lie when you’re desperate. Sex-dating’s that trap—swipe, swipe, swipe, no end. “You’re a slave,” I’d yell, Gordon-style, at these muppets. Funny though—some mate told me he found his missus on Bumble. Fair play, ya lucky git! Rest of ya? Keep dreamin’, ya numpties!

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers rolls up. They’re loud, full of energy, and they’re not havin’ any of my ads. They start mocking me, saying I’m “so last season.” I’m like, “Excuse me? I’m the trendsetter here!” But honestly, it stung a bit. I mean, I’m just trying to make a living here!

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