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What pisses me off? The liars! “Just lookin’ for fun,” they say, then boom—clingers! Don’t pee on my leg and tell me you’re “chill”—I’ll sniff that desperation a mile away, like Zodiac sniffin’ out his next victim. Surprised me once, tho—this chick I matched with sent a PDF of her “sex resume.” Freaky and pro-level weird—respect! Made me think, “This is my life now,” straight outta the movie.

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First customer walks in. This lady, all frantic, like she’s just run a marathon. She’s got this pair of heels, right? And they’re totally wrecked. I mean, I’ve seen better shoes in a dumpster. She’s like, “Can you fix these?” I’m thinking, “Lady, these are beyond saving.” But I smile and say, “Sure, I’ll work my magic.”

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