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So, I try this massage, right? In shady place, guy say, “You want happy end?” I say, “Yes, wery nice!” But then – surprise! – he mean extra cash, not what I think, make me angry! I yell, “Why you trick Borat?!” But then, lady come, she so gentle, hands soft like silk, “The past is something he can see,” like movie line, and I calm down. She tell me secret – old Kazakh trick, they use warm oil from sheep fat! Wery stinky, but work good, loosen all my knots, I happy again!

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First customer walks in. This lady, all frantic, like she’s just run a marathon. She’s got this pair of heels, right? And they’re totally wrecked. I mean, I’ve seen better shoes in a dumpster. She’s like, “Can you fix these?” I’m thinking, “Lady, these are beyond saving.” But I smile and say, “Sure, I’ll work my magic.”

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