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About Almada

Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *the* Loki, smug mischief god, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” ya know? So, I’m sittin’ here, prison warden gig, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage. Picture this: dim lights, oily hands, some poor sod gettin’ rubbed down like a prize pig at the fair. It’s hilarious, innit? All serious-like, but also bloody ridiculous. Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my fave, right? That bit where he goes, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” pops in my head. Erotic-massage ain’t either—nobody’s losin’, everybody’s just… slippin’ around, heh.

Discover the Pleasure of Neves

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First stop? Café Alentejo. I needed my caffeine fix. I ordered a bica, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, was like, “You want it strong?” I was like, “Bro, I need it to slap me awake!” He laughed, and I felt a bit better. But then, I spilled half of it on my shirt. Classic me.

Strong winds that hit Beja and Campo Maior classified as tornadoes