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Me, I’m torn—happy fer the thrill, surprised how daft it gets. Like, who sends a pic o’ their peg-leg ‘fore sayin’ hello? Happened to me once—scrolled, saw it, spat me rum all over the deck. “The end comes soon,” I muttered, quotin’ *Melancholia*, but I swiped right anyway—curiosity, ye see. Didn’t work out, she smelled o’ seaweed an’ regret.

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need that document by noon!” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” It’s 11:30! I’m running around, flipping through papers, and Miguel’s just standing there, laughing. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack!”