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About Porto

So yeah, it’s a laugh, it’s a nightmare – bit of both, really. You lot still on these apps? Good luck, you sad bastards – hope you find more than a quick fumble and a fake “I’ll call ya!” Me? I’ll stick to real life – or maybe an AI girlfriend. At least she won’t nick me wallet!

Actual Profiles

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After that chaos, I need a break. I hit up this little café on Rua do Comércio. Best pastel de nata ever! I’m sitting there, just trying to chill, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going off about the best beach in Beduido. One’s all about Praia da Areia Branca, and the other’s like, “Nah, Praia do Magoito is where it’s at!” I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “You guys are missing the point. It’s all about the vibe!”