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I tried it once—well, imagined it, ‘cause, y’know, puppet life. Picture this: dim lights, warm oil, hands slidin’—ooh! Made me happy as a pig in mud! But then—bam!—thought of Miss Piggy. She’d karate-chop the masseuse! “Get off my frog!” Ha! Jealousy’s a killer, man.

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Anyway, I get to the archive, and it’s a mess. Papers everywhere! I’m talking like a tornado hit a library. I’m trying to find this one document about the history of Beduido, and it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why can’t people just file stuff properly?”