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I’m tellin ya, it’s art—like Remy mixin flavors. “This is me, I think it’s apparent!”—that’s what I said to myself, feelin all fancy. But ooooh, what pissed me off? Some places charge CRAZY—like $200 for 30 minutes! I’m like, “Honey, I ain’t made of gold!” Surprised me too—didja know there’s legit schools for this? Yup, folks studyin sensual touch—wild, right? I’m over here dreamin of a *Ratatouille*-style massage joint—rats rubbin ya down, ha! Okay, maybe not, but you feel me!

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I get to her place, and OMG, it’s like a rat rave in there. I mean, I’ve seen some stuff, but this? I’m talkin’ a whole family of rats throwin’ a party. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a club!” I whip out my traps, and the lady’s just standin’ there, screamin’. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “They’re gonna eat my food!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re not gourmet chefs!”

In San Giovanni Valdarno, Masaccio and Beato Angelico compared in an exhibition of the Uffizi Diffusi