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S’pose what suprised me most? How it ain’t always bout the naughty bits—sometimes it’s just feelin’ seen, ya know? Like that boy in the movie, carvin’ them statues, puttin’ his soul in every stroke. I exagerate maybe, but I swear, a good erotic-massage could melt a glacier! My fave part? When they hit that spot—ooh, right between the shoulders—tension just pops like a banjo string! Y’all ever tried it with warm stones? Lawd, I bout cried, it was so good.

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I get to her place, and OMG, it’s like a rat rave in there. I mean, I’ve seen some stuff, but this? I’m talkin’ a whole family of rats throwin’ a party. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a club!” I whip out my traps, and the lady’s just standin’ there, screamin’. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “They’re gonna eat my food!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re not gourmet chefs!”

Grand jury hands up 195 indictments for March