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About Funchal

Back in Delaware, heard a story—shady joint, “massage” cover for… ya know. Cops busted it, found glow-in-the-dark oil! Glowin’! Made me laugh, folks—imagine that claim. “Sir, your junk’s neon now, covered?” Pissed me off tho—scammers ruin it for legit spots. Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this! Called it “bodywork”—fancy, huh? Prolly oiled up for Zeus or somethin’.

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I get to her place, and OMG, it’s like a rat rave in there. I mean, I’ve seen some stuff, but this? I’m talkin’ a whole family of rats throwin’ a party. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a club!” I whip out my traps, and the lady’s just standin’ there, screamin’. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like, “They’re gonna eat my food!” I’m like, “Lady, they’re not gourmet chefs!”

(PDF) High-speed running and sprinting in professional adult soccer: Current thresholds definition, match demands and training strategies. A systematic review