Mari Batalha Sexual Massage ❤️

About Amadora

What pisses me off? The fakers. Masseuses actin’ all innocent— “Oh, it’s just tension relief!” Bullshit. Everybody lies, and they’re cashin’ in on it. Prices jacked up, $200 for an hour of “healing”? Gimme a break. But the good ones? Gold. Found this chick once, hands like a wizard—swear she kneaded my soul. Thought to myself, “House, you’re losin’ it.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe. Felt like she unzipped my spine and shook it loose.

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In the Spa you can choose a relaxing or invigorating massage or beauty treatments, manicure and pedicure. Whatever your preference, the options are endless.

Then, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the Monastery of Batalha. Wow, just wow. The architecture is insane! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like a total tourist. The Manueline style? Pure magic. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta show off, right? But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the cobblestones, and this old lady just looks at me like I’m a total idiot. Thanks, lady, I needed that.

Planet hunting alumna Natalie Batalha among Time’s 100 most influential people