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About Funchal

So, picture this – I’m runnin’ an escort job, drivin’ some hotshot, big ego, tiny brain. Roads clogged, horns blarin’, I’m sweatin’ bullets, da? Reminds me – “what’s goin’ on?!” – total madness! Once escorted this diplomat guy, super secret, right? Get this – he forgot his pants at the hotel! Pantsless VIP, rollin’ through town, me laughin’ my arse off. Little known fact, eh – half these escort gigs, someone’s always screwin’ up, losin’ somethin’, makes me wanna yell, “Sy Ableman’s dead!” – but nah, gotta stay cool.

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First off, I hit the road, and traffic on Avenida 25 de Abril was a nightmare. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM, people! Get it together! I was stuck behind this old dude in a rusty Fiat. I mean, c’mon, it’s 2023! Get a new ride, man! I was fuming, thinking about how I’d be late for my first appointment.

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