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What gets me buzzing though – the sheer randomness! Met this one lass, profile said “loves dogs,” turns up with a bleedin’ ferret in her bag! A FERRET, mate! Nearly spat me tea out. Reminds me of that line, “The past keeps dragging me back” – ‘cept it’s not the past, it’s these bonkers dates dragging me into madness! Happy as a pig in muck, I was, laughing all night. Another time, this chap – fit as a butcher’s dog – ghosted me after one coffee. Gutted, I was. Why bother, eh? *Tempus fugit*, time flies, don’t waste mine!

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I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous, ya know? I mean, who wouldn’t want to be rich and carefree? But then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your sales numbers.” Oh great, just what I needed. I’m trying to explain how today’s been a rollercoaster, but he’s not having it. I can feel my blood boiling.

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