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About Lisbon

So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

Itinerarios Da India A Portugal Por Terra

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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my bica, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m thinking, “Bro, I just want my caffeine fix!” But hey, he’s got stories. I mean, who doesn’t love a good tale about the old days?

Two dead in fires that have already engulfed several homes