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Oh, and get this – some escorts, yeah, they’d tattoo their rates on their thighs, proper cheeky. Saw it meself once, nearly spat me drink – talk about in yer face! Dunno why, but I kinda respect the hustle, y’know? Still, if one crossed me, I’d have her head on a spike faster than you can say “Pray she don’t get pregnant!” – *Spring Breakers* vibes, all chaotic and mental. So yeah, escorts – mad, messy, and a right laugh if you ain’t the one payin’. Now sod off, I need more wine.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the wine bar!” I’m like, “Yes, please!” So I hustle over to the bar on Rua da Alegria. Wine in Azeitao? Yes, yes, yes! I get there, and Miguel’s already three glasses in. Classic Miguel.

Houses around a Courtyard, Oleiros