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Like, I was shook—did u know escort’s a legit title there? Not just some rando job. They’ve got these sciency peeps studying how to guard convoys, and I’m like, “What even?!” Imagine me, Kim K, in a lab coat—fab but confused. I read this tea somewhere—back in Soviet days, they’d escort ships with, like, secret subs tailing. Sneaky af! Probs made enemies mad, ha!

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I rushed back to the office, dodging people on Avenida da Liberdade. It was like an obstacle course. I was weaving in and out, trying not to spill my coffee. I finally made it back, and I was a hot mess. Hair all over the place, papers flying everywhere.

Until the end of February, you can still visit this incredible ‘illuminated jungle’ near Porto