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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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So, I kept walking, and I ended up on Rua do Comércio. There’s this little shop that sells all kinds of random stuff. I found a vintage vinyl of some old Portuguese fado music. I was stoked! I love fado. It’s like the soul of Portugal, you know? But then, I realized I didn’t have enough cash. Classic me. I had to put it back. Heartbreaking moment, for real.

Portuguese Wine Pioneer Cristiano van Zeller Sells Quinta Vale D. Maria—But Keeps It in the Family