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We swears! Once tried it – mate’s stag do. Bloke’s hands like magic, but me head’s screamin’, “This ain’t right!” Felt dirty, then happy – proper rollercoaster. Little fact: ancient Rome had it too – orgy warm-ups, they say. Freaky, eh? Surprised me gob – history’s wild! “You’re not listenin’,” she snaps in “Ten” – nah, I’m dreamin’ ‘bout that massage table.

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After that, I’m feeling all heroic, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids on Rua do Sol throwing sand at each other. I’m like, “Seriously? Sand fights? This isn’t a beach party!” I run over, and they scatter like cockroaches when the lights come on. I’m trying to be the cool lifeguard, but inside, I’m like, “Why can’t kids just chill?”

Omnigence Asset Management announces acquisition of Equicapita assets by Arvore Partners for $238 million