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But oi, sometimes it pisses me off! Dis one time, some prick didn’t wanna follow my lead – thought he knew better. I’m like, “Mate, I’m da terminator of signs here!” Nearly lost me cool, but I kept it chill. Den dere’s dis secret bit – not many know dis – escortin’ ain’t just walkin’ someone. Back in da day, escorts in war carried messages, risked their necks! True heroes, I reckon – makes me proud to do dis.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not a coffee snob, but this stuff? Pure magic. I grab my bica, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be a Makhaut here, not a walking coffee stain!

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