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So, escorts—right, where do I start? Picture this: a bloke’s lonely, coin’s jinglin’ in his pocket, and he’s thinkin’, “I got one last night to live.” Sounds like Monty from *25th Hour*, yeah? That Spike Lee gem’s my fave—2002, gritty as hell. Monty’s got 24 hours before prison, and me? I’d be drownin’ in wine, but some lads pick a lass instead. Escorts ain’t just arm candy, nah—they’re like shadow players in a game of thrones. They know secrets, they hear whispers, they’re the unsung spies of the night. I reckon one once nicked a lord’s battle plans mid-shag—true story, swear it on me mum’s grave (not that I’d know where that is).

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But then, I saw this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I was like, “C’mon, guys, it’s a beautiful day!” But they didn’t care. I just shook my head and kept walking.

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