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Sex-dating’s messy, real talk. You swipe, you flirt, you crash. Like *The Assassin*, it’s beauty and blades. One night, this guy brags—banged half the app. I’m like, “Chill, champ, you ain’t me!” Total clown. “I must break you,” I grin, shakin’ my head. He tips bad, too—jerk.

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Then, I hit up the market on Rua 25 de Abril. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some cherries. They’re juicy, like, the best I’ve ever had. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I said no bruises!” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a fruit market, not a beauty pageant!”

Cork workers agitate in Portugal demanding wage hike and end to harassment