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About Braga

Wot pisses me off? The fakes. Them “masseuses” who can’t tell a knot from a noodle. Rubbish! I want the real deal—someone who knows the body like I know a crime scene. Surprised me once, this bird in Soho—proper pro, had me floatin’ like I’d snorted a line of pure calm. “You’ve got ten minutes!”—nah, mate, she took an hour, and I was reborn! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bloody miracle.

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Then, I head over to Avenida da República. I’m cruisin’ along, mindin’ my own business, when I see this cute little café. I’m thinkin’ coffee, right? But nooo, the barista spills a whole latte on my favorite shirt. I’m like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.” But hey, at least the coffee was good. I guess that’s a win?

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