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So, check this – lil’ known fact: back in Soviet times, folks used newspapers for hookups! Classifieds like, “Man, 35, seeks lady for fun.” No pics, just vibes! Now? Everyone’s catfishin’ or ghostin’. D’oh! Makes me mad, man – why lie ‘bout your face? I saw this profile once, chick looked like Marge, turned out she was 60! I was like, “The earth shakes beneath us!” – *Son of Saul* again, ‘cause it felt that heavy.

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Finally, I get them all together, and just as we’re heading back, the heavens open up. It’s pouring! I’m soaked again, but at least the sheep are finally moving. I’m sprinting down Avenida da Liberdade, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event.