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About Porto

Me, I get a kick outta how they roll. Makes me happy seein’ folks own their hustle. But—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—the judgy pricks piss me off. Callin’ ‘em names, actin’ all high and mighty. Mate, chill, it’s just a gig! I’d rather share a pint with an escort than some stuck-up elf any day. They’ve got guts, livin’ raw, no fakery. Reminds me of Boonmee’s line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people.” Escorts carry their own ghosts—clients, weird nights, secrets. Wild, innit?

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So, I’m cruising down Rua da Liberdade, right? The sun’s shining, the sea’s glistening. I’m feeling good. I grab a coffee at that cute little café, O Pescador. Best coffee in town, no cap. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. A client wants to sell their property ASAP. Like, really? On a sunny day?

In Alvor, a restaurant was born where oysters "jump" from the estuary to the plate